the decision

“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama

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The New York Times posted a piquant piece of satire recently on the over use of #blessed on social media platforms like facebook, Twitter and Instagram. “There’s nothing quite like invoking holiness as a way to brag about your life,” the author writes. “But calling something ‘blessed’ has become the go-to term for those who want to boast about an accomplishment while pretending to be humble, fish for a compliment, acknowledge a success (without sounding too conceited), or purposely elicit envy.”

Somewhere along the way, the meaning of being blessed got lost in social media translation. Are you truly #blessed for winning court side seats to game 7 of the NBA Finals? Or are you just #lucky? Have we in the age of “hurry up and share every success (small or large) to all of our cyber friends,” diluted what it really means to blessed?

I’m an age where most of my friends already have kids. Some of their pregnancies were easy. Some were not. Some struggled to have their first kid. Some their second. The ability to create life is such a beautiful thing. But there is a reason it’s called the miracle of life – it isn’t always easy. And it isn’t always a given. I’m not quite in a place where I’m thinking about having my own kids (sorry, mom). But I would be lying if I denied wondering, when I am, would I adopt if I can’t have a child myself?

Even though my dad was adopted, my mom has said she tried to be compassionate and understand what that must have felt like to never be able to conceive, but never once thought that would be their reality too. My parents tried for five years before my mom made the decision on her own to walk into German Jugendamt (youth welfare office) in Ansbach. She found out some basic information about the adoption process and then went home to tackle getting my dad on board. He was hesitant. He wanted to keep trying. As I’m sure many couples have asked at one point, he wondered, “why can’t we make a baby?”

Matt-Lins

sibs

I understand my dad’s hesitation. I know I’ve always had a strong desire to share possibly my nose or my horrible hair with my child. My mom summed it up perfectly a few days ago, she said “it’s not about not wanting to adopt. I wanted more than anything to get pregnant. But I couldn’t, and we wanted a family. Eventually, I realized adoption was an opportunity.” Three days after her initial visit, my dad agreed to make a formal appointment. (Look for future posts that delve more in their journey to adopt.)

My mom finished our conversation saying, “I can tell you, as much as I wanted and prayed for pregnancy, I could never have fathomed the beautiful gift adoption would be for our family.” I think anyone who has been touched by adoption would agree. #blessed

Cheers!

Added bonus: Looking for some inspiration? Forbes has you covered. Check out this list of Top 100 Inspirational Quotes

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